Episode 47 – Your Budget = Moral Document. Lessons in DEI with Aubrey Blanche
“Our brains only work best when we're cared for all around” - Aubrey Blanche
Failed it! Fam, we’re excited to introduce to you Aubrey Blanche. More love, less hate, more universal connection. We all want to live in a world that Aubrey can help cultivate. Get ready to hear some important bits of information in this inspirational episode!
In today’s episode, Aubrey talks to us about:
DEI & the “cookie metaphor” (you have to listen in to this one!)
How the limits of America’s obsession with productivity is the anti-caring for the human organism
DEI work: take rest, don’t quit
Links from show discussions:
Check out improve it!’s Zoombie Toolkit Launching 3/29 for 2 weeks – stay tuned onwww.learntoimproveit.com
About the Guest: Aubrey Blanche is The Mathpath (Math Nerd + Empath), Director of Equitable Design & Impact at Culture Amp, and a startup investor, and advisor. She questions, reimagines, and redesigns the systems that surround us to ensure that all people access equitable opportunities. Her expertise covers talent programs and accessible product development to event design and communications. She is the inventor of the balanced teams approach and a culture of belonging, and the Balanced Teams Diversity Assessment in the Atlassian Team Playbook. She open sources these methods and releases thought leadership and tools to create positive change at aubreyblanche.com.
About the Host: Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief “Yes, And” officer of improve it! and host of the failed it! Podcast. She’s a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
You can follow the failed it! podcast on Instagram @learntoimproveit and facebook, and you can follow Erin personally on Instagram @keepinitrealdiehl here. You can also check out improve it! and how we can help your organization at www.learntoimproveit.com. We can’t wait to connect with you online!
Episode 47 Transcription:
Erin (00:00):
Hey there, my name is Erin Diehl and I'm a half Southern half Midwestern mama. Some call this voice a nasal twang who took $5,000 to build and scale a one of a kind experiential organization that improves the lives of corporate professionals through personal development, humanity, and humor. Along the way, I've built client relationships with some of the most notable companies in the country all while attracting a rock star team of experts and hilarious facilitators. Sounds pretty awesome. Right? Well, what I didn't tell you is that my resume also includes a long list of comedy shows I bombed, improv teams I didn't make, companies who told me no and many a heartache when it came to becoming a mother. I want to show you the real deal of the grit, creativity, and determination it takes to overcome your disappointments, embrace the suck and design the career you could only dream about. I believe we all have our own unique gifts that we bring to the world and it is our mistakes that help to unwrap them. Welcome to failed it!
Erin (01:11):
Hey, failed it! Fam. I'm going to start today's show with our failed it! Fam member of the week. This one is from, this is a lot of letters - hehdxbe-374shdhd. So I, if this is you and you left a review failed it! Fam member, I'm not even going to repeat that cause that's a lot of letters and a lot of, a lot of numbers here, but I appreciate you leaving this. This person says, Great advice on how to become a better leader and a better human being, how to face challenges of life and celebrate our uniqueness. Inspiring! Noteworthy! Fantastic! Thank you friend so much for leaving this review. You are an awesome failed it! Fam member and for leaving this review, I am going to gift you our newest offering. It's a mini course on zoom fatigue.
Erin (02:07):
This is coming out the week of March 29th. So stay tuned for that, but send me an email at info@learntoimproveit.com. I'm going to hook you up. There is a zoombie improv toolkit involved in there for you to help your eyeballs and your mind get over this zoom fatigue. All my friends at the failed it! Family. If you could leave us a review, it really does mean so much. And it brings more people to the failed it! Fam we're sending out gifts every week and reading one of those, uh, or one of these I should say on the show. So thank you again for this review. Let's get to failin' it. Hey failed it! Fam. Welcome to the show. I am so excited for today's guest. And I know I say that, but I really mean this. This is our first time meeting, but I feel like this going to be epic.
Erin (03:00):
So welcome to the show. Aubrey Blanche.
Aubrey (03:04):
Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. I'm really excited to be here.
Erin (03:08):
Oh my God. I found you on LinkedIn. We're going to talk all about this, but I want to quickly introduce you to the failed it! Fam before we get into failing it. So let me read your bio real quick, your highlight reel, so to speak. So Aubrey Blanche is The Mathpath (Math Nerd + Empath), love this title, Director of Equitable Design & Impact at Culture Amp, and a startup investor, and advisor. She questions, reimagines, and redesigns the systems that surround us to ensure that all people access equitable opportunities. Her expertise covers talent programs and accessible product development to event design and communications. She is the inventor of the balanced teams approach and a culture of belonging, and the Balanced Teams Diversity Assessment in the Atlassian Team Playbook. She open sources these methods and releases thought leadership and tools to create positive change and you can find this at her website at aubreyblanche.com. Welcome again, Aubrey. I'm so thrilled. You are such an interesting human to me and the world needs more of you. So I'm so thrilled to talk about you today. So welcome again to the show.
Aubrey (04:33):
Thank you so much. I promise. I'll try to be interesting.
Erin (04:37):
I feel like you nailed it in the bio. So we're already there, question though. Let me ask this and I'd love to start with this. What is something that we wouldn't know about you from your bio, from your resume or from your LinkedIn profile?
Aubrey (04:50):
Oh, um, I'm a classically trained mezzo soprano. That's just like a thing that like it's useful, like corporate karaoke or whatever you were like, wait, no, no, no, but I can sing for real. Um, it's not very useful day-to-day I have to say it's mostly just me dancing around my house to the Moana soundtrack. That's really where it gets a workout.
Erin (05:12):
Can we get like a I've been standing at the edge of the Nope, Nope. Maybe a little bit like, uh, can we, can we hear like?
Aubrey (05:18):
I've been staring at the edge of the water 'Long as I can remember Never really knowing why
Erin (05:28):
Okay, dead, I just died. This is my ghost.
Aubrey (05:32):
I've never done that on a podcast before here we go!
Erin (05:36):
I've never had anybody sing on the show before. And that was awesome - beautiful voice. I'm dead. I'm dead. My mother as a child she's Hey, Janice. She listens to the show. Um, she taught piano and voice out of my house growing up. And so she's also a soprano, but I have not heard her sing that song that eloquently ever. And I really loved the way that that sounded. So I feel like, I feel like you need to do more of that. I hope there's more of that in your future. Not just dancing around your house. I hope when this is all over, you're on stage doing that somewhere. Cause you are classically trained.
Aubrey (06:14):
That's true. I am I haven't been on stage in awhile. Now I just like to do it mostly. It's like weddings and funerals. I sing the Ave Maria. That's really how my family gets it now.
Erin (06:26):
Hey, you're there. You're at the beginning of one chapter, the end of another, you know, so that's, that's important. And let me ask this. So I found you online through LinkedIn, which is one of my favorite platforms and we have quite a few connections in common. So when I started researching you, your background and this phrase, the mathpath, I kept digging and digging. And I want to start there. I know, but I want you to coin or tell the failed it! Family, how you coined the term math path for yourself.
Aubrey (07:00):
Yeah. So I have to give credit, I worked with a brand firm to help, uh, sort of come up with that and bring it together. But really when, when they said, you know, who are you? You're the math path. I was like, is this like Ziggy Stardust? Like, is this my Ziggy Stardust? And that's kind of how I think about it, which is that the mathpath is really it's both me, but it's also per persona I put on, but it has to do with how I do the work. So I really believe that the way that you create transformational change is by grounding your work in deep social science, right? In, in research and rigorous methods. But when you go too far into that end, you become so cognitive that you're not actually thinking about and feeling for the people that you're impacting. And so in order to do my work, I do need, you know, I talk about game theory and statistics and things like that. But also it's just about the fundamental dignity of every human person and non-human things too, but this fundamental dignity of, of life and empathizing and connecting with other people's experience. And so mathpath just felt like both. It's fun to say, but also it really describes the way that I do my work and the way that I tried to move through the world.
Erin (08:15):
That is beautiful. Beautiful. And I, I really do think if you check out her website, which we will obviously link to in the show notes here, you can see that you really embody this, this title, the Mathpath. And I think it shows through the work that you do, the way that you showcase it with data and the way that you're using empathy, equity, inclusion, all of the things to really define work and to define what it means to be leaders as well as great human beings. So thanks for, for doing you girl, because that's important. It's important. So I want to talk to you. You mentioned a lot of your work is using empathy and really getting to the heart of creating balanced teams through your diversity assessment. And you really dive into this notion of diversity and inclusion. Can you tell us, was there a defining moment in your life where you decided that diversity inclusion equity was your life?
Aubrey (09:18):
Um, I don't know if there was a single moment. I think there was a moment that I got set on the path, which was the moment that I dropped out of Stanford for hitting all of the standards that have sexism and probably racism barriers, although I'm white passing. And so I experienced racialization very different than someone who isn't mixed or who isn't white passing. So I want to hold that out there as really important, but really I think was the moment that a director at my first tech job allowed me to run some experiments because I said, I don't think you're, I think you're rejecting women at a higher rate than you mean to. And he said, what? And I was like, let me tell you all about this unconscious bias thing that at that time was not, um, it was not something that everybody was talking about and, but it was something I just knew from, I don't know, hanging out with psychology PhDs.
Aubrey (10:09):
Um, and, and so I ran a study that showed where the inefficiencies in that recruiting process were. And then I kind of said, Hey, I want to do this as a job. Could I? So I got into DEI as a field without knowing, or even having proper. I was a little naive. I didn't realize that it was a career. I didn't realize that it had history and that was something I picked up really as I started to network. And I started to realize that DEI work is an extension of right, that there are people who have been doing it even in the tech industry for decades, but also that this is, you know, it comes from the legacy of the civil rights movement of people who have always fought for justice. And so I think the, as I realized that this was the work I wanted to do, because frankly I'm privileged in so many ways. And so I can't think of something better to do with my time than to try to open up and create space for other people. Right. So I've been given a lot of opportunities and like, it's like cookies, it's more fun if you share.
Erin (11:12):
No one wants to eat a cookie alone.
Aubrey (11:15):
Right? Like the cookie tastes better when, like we can both have some because then we both get to enjoy the cookie and we get to like, co-relate on like, wow, this cookie is bomb. So I don't know, like that sounds really simplistic. And there's definitely a lot more complications to it that I can talk to about how being white passing or being well, I'm not very straight passing anymore. My head screams gay, I think. But, um, but I feel a responsibility to my community as someone who has a lot of privilege to try to advocate for my community and other communities that I'm up from, but are marginalized. And so it's a deep pleasure. And I do my work with deep gratitude because I have the opportunity to spend my life making the world better for people who deserve it. Like, what else could you ask for?
Erin (12:06):
That is so beautiful. And that's, I found your work to be so intriguing because you use data, use science, you use exactly what you just said. Let me do this recruiting study. Let me show you how I found this data point in the way that you were recruiting. And there was some you're treating women differently and the cookie metaphor is simple, but it's beautiful. It's beautiful. No one wants to eat a cookie alone. It's better shared. I'm going to take that with me. And I will also say like, let's bring milk, add let's bring milk. Let's bring, let's bring a lot of different things to the table. And let's all share that table together.
Aubrey (12:45):
Or maybe you find out in fact that your friend doesn't want half of your cookie because they want a cupcake. Right. And that's so, so cool. And you're like, now we're not giving cookies together, but we are together eating things. And so that's definitely improved on the situation.
Erin (12:59):
Oh my God. I love it. So I love what you do. Part of the reason improve it! the company that I run exists is because improv is such a dynamic teaching tool to bring people together and being a mezzo soprano. Okay. I don't know if you've dabbled at improv, but I want to ask, but it really is this cohesive unit of an ensemble. You walk in individuals, you walk out of cohesive space and it really transforms people through the power of play and it makes people feel like they belong. Right. So first of all, have you ever done improv?
Aubrey (13:37):
I've done a little bit of improv. So I was a bit of the musical theater kid, um, in, uh, grade school and high school. So I've done a little bit of improv, but I have to say being a head of diversity in 2020 is basically one long tragic improv of people looking on how to deal with this and going well, that's never come up before we've. I mean, to say, we've never had a president who was a white supremacist before is false. Most of them were right. But the level of trauma that we had to like basically improv, not improv, there was grounded practice in this, but for the corporate world, I think the corporate world felt like they were improving all last year across this all lives matter and trying to do the right thing, but not necessarily grounded in what that right thing was or how to actualize it.
Erin (14:26):
That is a hundred percent true. And I think every single person has their own version of a 2020 story, whether it was the death of George Floyd, whether it was, you know, the continued deaths of black Americans, I really do think we've had a lot of awesome guests on this show and we will continue to do so yourself included, who are advocates for social change. And I think that it's so important from a leadership perspective to really take a pulse right now on where you're at and see people like Aubrey who are doing the work, but not necessarily. I want to ask this question to you. Do you ever feel, especially through 2020, and I'm just going to say this for lack of a better word. Are you ever tired of helping? Do you ever feel as if people need to do some of their own work?
Aubrey (15:16):
Yeah. So I would say, I think that's, you've asked me sort of two questions. Like, am I ever tired? I'm tired all the time. You know, there's banners. Like how do you just know how to get angry? And he's like, well, the thing is I'm angry all the time. And I feel that like part of part of doing this work is learning to hold both your own exhaustion and your own righteous anger, and direct it in ways that are meaningful. So yeah. Do I get tired? I'm tired as hell I'm I'm, uh, I'm uh, you know, bi-cultural, biracial, bisexual, bipolar person in 2021. So I I'm certainly tired, but I also hold, I don't think it's possible for me to get tired of supporting my community. And the reason for that is because I know the world I want to live in. Like I can imagine it, right.
Aubrey (16:04):
That, and, and the way that I get there is by supporting my community. And when I think of my job as doing is really just opening up spaces for people's brilliance to manifest. I'm not responsible for the brilliance that they bring forth. That's all of them and that's their power. But the more people that do that, the closer we are to the world I want to live in, which is one of foreseen and valued for who they are and what they are. And we believe, and we actualize and we protect the dignity and the wellbeing of every person. Like, that's what I want. And I realize, I realized that's a really tall order. And so I have to be somewhat satisfied, but like, if I had a theme song, it's like, you have to stay unsatisfied. Right. But we're not, we're going to Hamilton. We've gotten to Hamilton.
Aubrey (16:57):
You understand? But that's it. So for me, I, when I'm tired, I always have, this phrase is take rest, don't quit. Quitting Is a function of privilege, right? It is. White privilege and white fragility 101. So for me, it's also critically important as someone who's on the bipolar spectrum. Um, I can only help people when I'm well, and so when I am too tired, I do say no, I really believe that that's something about the longterm, you know, sort of movement building for this is that those of us who are tired, like we need to take a nap and it's okay. You know, it's really black feminism that taught us that self-care and rest is resistance. And that was, you know, it came from that particular school of thought. But I think it's something that we can all gain from.
Erin (17:51):
Man. You just dropped so many juicy chicken nuggets. I just want some dipping sauce. This is powerful.
Aubrey (18:00):
Ranch or barbecue?
Erin (18:01):
I'm a ranch person. I am not going to lie. I also will like a barbecue sauce here and there. I would take a side. Sometimes I make my own aioli. I'm not going to lie to you. I throw a Mayo and a ketchup together. You know.
Aubrey (18:13):
I'm a hot sauce
Erin (18:15):
Okay, okay. Well, and I also look, we put in some theme songs here, we're doing some musical theater interludes. This is all happening, but I will not to take away from the seriousness of that answer. Wow. I had not planned on asking you that question. And obviously I'm an improviser, so things happen, but I am very intrigued by that answer. And I think so many people listening on so many levels can take away a lot from that. So thank you for sharing those, that the real answer and the vulnerabilities that you shared personally. I mean, that is, that's how we learn. And that's where I want to go to next too, because we say an improv, there are no mistakes, only gifts. It's one of the biggest rules of improvisational comedy. So I want to talk about through your lens, through your eyes, it could be something professional. It could be something that you've, you know, this is a group of leaders from all across corporate America, but it could be something that has changed your life drastically. What would you say is one of your biggest quote unquote gifts that you've encountered in your life and how that lesson learned from those gifts has gotten you to where you are today?
Aubrey (19:26):
Yeah, so I think that's, that's an easy question for me, which is that, um, I made that joke about it taking a lot of math to be me, but what I really think that's it. I mean, I sit at the intersection, like all of my identities are liminal, so meaning like they're right at the boundary. And so I think there's, there's has been at points in my life, a lot of interpersonal trauma, you know, asking like, who am I, if I technically meet all of these definitions, but people are identity placing me. But the thing that those identities have given me is the incredibly beautiful gift of being able to walk in a lot of different pairs of shoes. Right? We've got some stilettos. We have some clogs. No, no. What is, you know, for example, at many times I experienced the world as a white person would because of my skin tone, but also being Latina, being mixed race, um, and being connected to both sides of that heritage, I'm also experienced minoritization because of my racial and ethnic background.
Aubrey (20:28):
Um, same thing was sort of at points in my life being straight passing, but also being within the community. And so I think that that has given me, um, the beautiful gift of being able to witness more people's stories and learn how over time to better communicate and connect with many, many different types of people. And I think that is the biggest gift because of all of the things you can do in the world. And this is taken from, um, there was an incredibly beautiful interview. I can't believe I'm talking about this on the podcast of Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper talking about grief 20 minutes YouTube video. And it's like the best thing on the internet. I'm watching a lot. And yes, and Stephen Colbert talks about the gift of suffering. And he talks about how, when you suffer, you realize that all people suffer. And so through that suffering, we actually become less alone because we're able to fully see other people. And I think that, especially in the moment that we're in, that is so precious because we're all holding grief for the futures that didn't happen because of the pandemic that COVID pandemic, the racial justice pandemic, just that the history that's now the context of history that's now being shown. And so for me, I guess I got a little bit away from your question rambling about this.
Erin (21:49):
Keep going, go, where you're going. I love it.
Aubrey (21:51):
There is that is that, that the challenges that I've had in forming an identity have allowed me to understand the suffering of a broader group of people then I believe that I would have otherwise, which means that I can see their humanity in which means that I can sort of unconditionally love more people and then try to hold a world in which treats them that way. Um, so that's very metaphysical, but, but that's really it for me, like you asked the motivation is the motivation is like, I just want more people to feel loved and valued. And I feel like there's material things I can do to make that happen a little better. And that's what I try to do.
Erin (22:31):
I'm taking a deep breath. I'm breathing in. I feel like the world needs you. They need this. And I really do believe in if you don't believe in her work, everybody listen up, right?
Aubrey (22:44):
That's the key. I have slightly pinker hair than the average human.
Erin (22:50):
Which it's beautiful. I'm looking at it. I want them to know that you have beautiful hot pink hair it's gorgeous, continue, keep going.
Aubrey (22:57):
I was telling people that I was going for the gay animal tour, what I was shooting for with this haircut. The lesson is that the world needs each of us. It needs each of the guests we bring in. And so for me, the core of, of the DEI work is about that. It's about how do we create more space for more people to bring their brilliance and their gifts into the world. And if we've done that, then we've done a really good job.
Aubrey (23:22):
That's it? That is a hundred percent. And I love that you you're able to empathize. So going back to what you said, the different shoes, right? This, this, this math path is truly your identity because you really are able to you're at this intersection, like you mentioned, and you're really able to help so many different communities. And then the communities that you're not a part of are seeing the work that you're doing is automatically spilling over into their community, right? Like I think that every single person listening today can take something away from what you just said. And that's really the world. I think all of us want to live in is your world Aubrey and I more love less hate and more universal connection. And I, you, you alluded to this, that 2020 really was a year of grieving, right? For all of us, no matter who you are, you have a 2020 story.
Aubrey (24:16):
And I think that it actually put a lot of us, even though there was two pandemics, as you mentioned, there was the social justice pandemic. And then the COVID-19 pandemic. It really set humanity at a base line. We are all at this stage with the COVID pandemic, as where I'm going. We all had to sit in our homes. We all had to reassess where we are, what we're doing. And if we couldn't look past where we wanted to go and say, Hey, you know, we've had some, we've had things in our future that we are now having to look at and say, we didn't get to do these things, right. We're all grieving that moment. But it was almost as if the world stopping, made us all in some way, shape or form for that second come together. And then through that, we realized we have so much healing to do on so many different levels and so many different angles socially.
Erin (25:11):
But I will say that connection. I feel like when COVID first happened prior to this time last year, because we were recording this March 17th. So around this time, last year is when we all were stuck at home. That connection, that feeling of, I want, I want everybody to feel like we can help each other. That neighborly feel. That's what I, I want for everyone too is to feel like they have connectivity and love no matter who you are, where you are, what you do, what you look like, what you wear, all the things, no matter whose shoes you're walking in. You know.
Aubrey (25:45):
I mean, for me like, well, my stilettos miss me so much.
Erin (25:50):
Me too. I haven't worn a stiletto in a year. I'm going to be real.
Aubrey (25:53):
I got so sad about basically not having anywhere to wear all my cute fashion shoes that I made them the bookends on my bookshelf so at least I can like enjoy their beauty.
Erin (26:03):
Snaps to that snaps to that. I need to do something because Goodwill, Salvation Army, you're getting a, you're getting a dose of shoes that I have not put on my feet at a long time.
Erin (26:16):
Hey, failed it! Fam. Do your eyeballs hurt from staring at your screen? Do you walk away at the end of your work from home day with your arms out like Frankenstein, your eyeballs glazed over and feel like you need to do a swift face plan onto your bed, which is also conveniently located next to your laptop? If this sounds like you then stay tuned my friend, we have something coming for ya. Launching on March 29th for only two weeks, we'll be releasing our zoom fatigue, zombie toolkit. Now this is a mini course for you. And ironically, it's not on Zoom to teach you why you get those zoombie feelings after being on one too many video calls, how to build boundaries within your schedule, to minimize video conferences and best practices when you have to present on video. So stay tuned for this to launch with early bird pricing on March 29th. It will only be available for two weeks. So make sure to snag yours before they quickly dissolve into the Zoomsphere.
Erin (27:23):
Okay. I want to turn into this idea of gifts, right? We're talking about gifts as we see them in improv. What are some, or let's not do some, what's one of the biggest gifts hashtag fails that you've seen organizations make when it comes to creating a space for psychological safety and for inclusion. Can I refer to something too that I saw you wrote, which I thought was beautiful. You wrote a blog, um, about best for diversity lists, actively hindering progress, stop submitting to them. So I read this blog and I thought, wow, she gets it. Can you just tell us a little bit more about that through that lens?
Aubrey (28:08):
Yeah. So the biggest mistake that companies make is poorly resourcing and supporting their chief diversity officers. Like number one, like whatever budget you give them, triple it, and it might start to be the right amount. But in terms of the best for diversity lists, I think so often DEI becomes this like marketing exercise as opposed to something that's like pushing towards structural change. And the fact is like showing up on a best for diversity list is like, so I'm originally an international relations scholar. And so I would call it what we call an arms race, but basically it's like, well, you know, this big company is on that list. And so I have to be on that list. But the thing about it is they're mostly bullshit. Not all of them, there are some that aren't, but the fact is these are like surveys that are gamed. It's like, well, you have to give a yes, because otherwise you don't end on this list. And then you'll continue to be one of the only underrepresented people in marketing. And then, and so it's this thing where it's not actually measuring the truth, it's measuring who can pay to be on the list and who can coerce their employees to give the most positive scores.
Aubrey (29:13):
And I think it comes back to, for me, just like, I don't just dislike all lists. Um, as you saw, I laid out, um, I think like the human, uh, HRC CEI, which looks at LGBT inclusion is an example of a list that I think is structured and built in a way that really, really does create change. And the insight that HRC CEI had was that the first year that they did it, the standards were actually really low to get like a hundred percent, but they also aren't ranking companies against each other. Like we don't want inclusion to be a scarce resource and by ranking companies, that's what you're doing. You're saying, Oh, we want, you know, I don't know Salesforce, you know, does a lot of work in this area. So to be number one, but like, we don't want Salesforce to win. We want everyone to win of Salesforce being a company that also wins.
Aubrey (30:08):
And so I think there's, that is, it can't be a competitive thing because again, if we're, if we're in competition mode about diversity, we're actually in white supremacy mode and we want to be in collaboration mode, which is anti-racist mode. So there's that piece. But then the other thing is that the CEI, every year, it has gotten harder to maintain your 100. And so I believe the corporate equality index played a huge role in normalizing trans inclusive healthcare at work, for example. And so I think there are, and that if you read the blog, you'll see, I am very much a social scientist. I don't say something usually is either terrible or good except for the headline, because it makes people click for really trying to get people to see answer the question. Not is something good or bad, but under what conditions is it effective for creating equity and under what conditions is it ineffective for creating greater equity? That's the sophistic, that's the mathpath. The question that you want to ask is not yes or no, but when and how?
Erin (31:13):
Hmm. Hmm. All right. We're going to link to the blog and our show notes too. So our failed it! fam can read it because it's so fascinating. And you give a really great answer right there too. But if you want more details, we'll link to that, because I just found that so intriguing and I clicked, okay. I was clicking. I said, yep.
Aubrey (31:29):
And people can find my blog at aubreyblanche.com too, which has a lot of my content on it.
Erin (31:35):
Okay. And we're going to link to it in this show as well. I also read a blog okay from you that you read 110 books in 2019 as an attempt to stay off social media. And I looked at this list, they were so good. But if you could recommend one of these books to the failed it! Family, what would it be? And I do know you only hit 108, so I'm going to preface that, but that's so very impressive. What would be your number one?
Aubrey (32:05):
Well, I have to say I got 120, 2020, so I beat myself in 2020, but if I had to pick one book that I think everyone should read, it's The Memo by Minda Harts.
Erin (32:16):
Okay. And why is that?
Aubrey (32:18):
She's an incredible leader, but she basically wrote the business book that every woman of color needs that no one wrote until she got there. And so it's raw, it's honest, it's helpful. And she is just someone who, she's the kind of leader that I always aspire to be more like she's gracious. She's generous with her time. She's so focused on telling her truth. And, um, she has a couple of new books coming out too. I don't even know what they're called, but you should definitely pre-order those too. But yeah, she's just someone that I look up to so much. I love it. And she wrote the book that I wish that I had had, and I know so many other women of color wish they'd had sooner. And so we so lucky. She's the exact thing I'm talking about when I say like, people bring their brilliance into the world. Um, okay. I'll stop. I'll stop. Just like talking about why she's amazing now, but really. No this is a game changing book. And so I would suggest that everybody read it. If you're saying care about inclusion, um, go listen to what it's like for black women in the workplace and then go change it.
Erin (33:26):
We're going to link to, again, all of that in the show notes too. I, I was very curious about that when I read your blog, you have to put a new blog up about your 2020 books. Okay.
Aubrey (33:36):
Yes. I will!
Erin (33:37):
We need to see those. We need to see those.
Aubrey (33:40):
So you can actually go to my good reads, I actually track all the books that I read for your so if you go to my goodreads. You'll see all my 2020 books.
Erin (33:49):
Nice. Okay. We'll link to that too. It was fascinating. You we've read quite a few of the same books I saw. You're a Brene Brown fan, big fan, big fan.
Aubrey (33:59):
I love Brene Brown. I think she's incredibly helpful. This has so much of DEI work is dealing with trauma and shame and all these other things at work. And so I think Bernie Brown has helped you normalize the discussion. That was critically important.
Erin (34:13):
I agree. I agree. And I think a lot of her, the empathy that the math path empath, all of these things, I think if you haven't read a Brene Brown book as well, I think you could really relate to some of these things of courage, shame, vulnerability, all of these things that we talk about here on the podcast. So check those out and we will link to your Goodreads, 2020 as well. So people can take that take note. So let me ask you this. What do you predict the future of work will look like post 2021? What do you think that looks like?
Aubrey (34:49):
You know, I have an ambition that work is more human. I also think we'll, we'll have a lot more hybrid working. So we'll better, I guess, integrate the office. I think offices will be collaboration spaces, I think, but I do think that work will be more humane or at least I hope that it will, because I think what we've seen is that the limits of American obsessions of productivity are perhaps anti caring for the human organism. Generally speaking. That's what I hope is I hope that we're more humane. I mean, as long as we keep like my coworkers who bring their kids and like their dogs on calls, like I'm like, thank you for blessing by day with this perfect tiny little human it's way more interesting than whatever the hell we were planning to talk about. But so I think there's more of that where people, I hope can be more themselves.
Aubrey (35:35):
They can be more authentic. What companies are starting to understand and value, especially those in like the knowledge work sector that like our brains only work best when we're cared for all around. And so companies stop making commitments to build belonging and to build equity, but actually instead make investments, right? Like if your commitment doesn't come with an investment in your internal culture, not just in your tax write-offs then it's probably not yet aligned to where it needs to, to, for you to even consider your company something that was invited to the future of work.
Erin (36:09):
Wow. Okay.
Aubrey (36:11):
Straight up like really simply if you're spending more on beer than you are on DEI, what you're saying is my company values Budweiser more than black people. And like, I wish you would stop saying diversity as a priority while paying for the beer. Like at least be honest about where you are and where you're making your investments because I care without I invest or I do is actually just corporate gaslighting. Yeah. Okay. That's just real. It's so real. But there are, I'm going to call out. I work at culture amp. I was a customer before I, as a client, but you know, we spend so much time, all day helping customers with their DEI journeys and that's not always the right solution, but the point is you should be paying for and looking for and valuing solutions to this, not just PR.
Erin (36:59):
Hmm, Hmm. Hmm. Okay. I feel like we just got 700 sound bites right there. It's so true. I'm I'm going to leave it at that. I'm not even going to dive into that because I just want people to sit with that for a moment. And I want to highlight if you're spending more on beer than you are in DEI, that's where your values are. I mean, that's just, and also ping pong tables, which are they even going to be a thing when you go to your hybrid office?
Aubrey (37:27):
I feel neutral about ping pong tables. Like I don't want to interact with it, but if it works for you, that's fine. But again, I go back to, um, and it's, it's Emily Bass. Who's the CEO of season spark, which is a company that I'm lucky enough to advise. She always says budgets are moral documents. That to me is a lesson that I think we can all take.
Erin (37:48):
I literally just, I know this is like a cliche thing. Podcast has say, like, I just got chills, but I swear to you, I just got to chill. That is so true. That is so true. Guess who's going back to her budget tomorrow. This girl!
Aubrey (38:02):
Everyone's going to go and look at their budget and they're going to say, maybe I hadn't thought about it that way before. I'm not going to sit here and shame because shame is, I am a mistake and you are never a mistake, but you may have made one. So maybe that little bit of guilt, you're feeling that little bit of discomfort. People listening are feeling instead of taking that and getting defensive, which is an option available to you saying, you know what, maybe I just learned something and now to quote Maya Angelou, you know, now, you know, better. So do better. I mean, I, I quite get that quote. Right. But it was close enough.
Erin (38:37):
It was there.
Aubrey (38:38):
Maybe it's something you hadn't considered before and that's okay. Consider it now.
Erin (38:43):
Fire, fire. Okay. This is probably one of the best conversations on DEI. I mean, we have had some great guests on this show, so I'm not discounting, but I have never heard your budget as a moral compass. I've never heard that before.
Aubrey (39:01):
Emily, budgets and morals document.
Erin (39:05):
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, okay. So let me ask you this. Aubrey, what would you do even if you knew you might fail?
Aubrey (39:14):
Oh, I mean my whole job, like I set myself up to fail every day because I'm in a space where I constantly have to be learning and growing. I don't know. I mean, I've like called out, you know, there've been times in my career where I've called out my CEO publicly about DEI. Um, I think there's, I, I like to think that my act of bravery and like being a human out loud is pretty big and that's something I hope that I can always create space for anyone else. Um, anyone else for this? And so, yeah, like what can I do? My job - be an authentic person, who's dedicated to my own healing. Like I could totally fail at that. But the point is when I face plant, I'm just going to be wiser a little bit older, a little more dinged up. But once that stuff sheels, that's where the power and the strength comes in. So for me, it's about daring, to believe in a world in which people who are currently marginalized are seen as inherently valuable and beautiful, and then trying to be as authentic of a person as I can and live aligns with my values. Like that shit sounds risky as hell, but also I think all of the other options sound horrifying. This is a good option, which is integrity and authenticity. Four. I have a bad option, which is all the other ones.
Erin (40:44):
Yes, yes, yes. Okay. I love that answer. I truly wish that we could all live in this vision together. This, if this vision was unified we would have maybe your job would still exist, but maybe it wouldn't, you know, so if we could all unify, we would still, we would be in a different place. And I really love the way that you're thinking about the future. I think that a lot of people listening, gained some insight today, myself included I'm truly the budget piece is, I mean, it is absolutely correct. We look at budgets all day, every day. Right. But have you decided exactly what those dollars are, your moral compass, have you, um, I'm just, I'm floored by some of these answers. And I think a lot of people listening are going to have so much to walk away with today. I'm going to end with something that's a little fun, a little more lighthearted, because this is called the fail yeah lightning round. Aubrey, you didn't know this was coming. So I'm excited.
Erin (41:43):
It's a little improv, a little thinking quickly on your feet. However, super easy. So I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you have to respond as fast as you can with only one word answers, one word. So know that you cannot fail. But if you say more than one word, I'm going to do this really awkward fail yeah. Okay. So you can only say one word at a time, but if you say more than one, I give you a fail yeah. Are you ready? Aubrey? You're ready for the fail yeah lightning round. Here we go. Okay. One word to describe your early career.
Aubrey (42:21):
Accident.
Erin (42:23):
Oh, okay. One word to describe where you're currently at in your career.
Aubrey (42:27):
Dream.
Erin (42:28):
One word to describe your future self.
Aubrey (42:32):
Boss.
Erin (42:34):
Okay. One word to describe your favorite boss.
Erin (42:40):
Okay. One word to describe your least favorite boss.
Aubrey (42:43):
Liar.
Erin (42:47):
One word to describe your collaboration style.
Aubrey (42:52):
Friendly.
Erin (42:53):
One word to describe your work from home fashion style.
Aubrey (42:58):
Sweats.
Erin (43:01):
And one word to describe this interview.
Aubrey (43:03):
Joyful.
Erin (43:06):
I feel so too! Oh my God. You nailed it. You didn't fail it.
Aubrey (43:15):
That was fun! And also by the way, I just want to note that I really wanted to say sweat pants, but I wasn't sure!
Erin (43:23):
I felt you when you said sweats. I knew exactly what you meant. If you would've said joggers. I would've said great.
Aubrey (43:29):
I really want to wrap my Costco sweats, like that's peak work from home fashion. I think Costco has these great Fila sweats there just okay. For anyone on the line.
Erin (43:40):
Send a link to me and we'll post it in the show notes to these Fila sweats. Okay. You're an affiliate now. You're you're like, I'm an influencer. Okay. Oh my God. All right.
Aubrey (43:55):
I don't think I've ever felt so actualized is when I become a sweatpants influencers. You have made my whole week thank you!
Erin (43:55):
So you have so many titles now, sweat pants influence our mathpath there. We're just adding to your resume. This is what the show is for. So, okay. Let me ask you this. Tell the failed it! family where they can find you on all the things they can find it.
Aubrey (44:15):
So you can find me at ADblanche on just about every platform, because I don't know I have the same handle. And then, um, definitely you can get in touch with me at aubreyblanche.com. You can get signed up to get my blog in your inbox. Um, and lots of things like that. My digital soapbox is mostly on Twitter.
Erin (44:34):
So good. All right. Well, I want to just thank you so much Aubrey for coming on the show today.
Aubrey (44:42):
I'm grateful to have been here. This is so much fun.
Erin (44:44):
Well, no, this was a complete treat on our end and the failed it! Family I know is going to be blowing me up saying they got so many great nuggets of wisdom from you. Thank you for the work you do the light that you put out in the world. Thank you for sharing your gifts. Quote unquote, here with us today and to my failed it! Family fail. Yeah. Fail. Yeah. Hey friends. Thanks for tuning into failed. It I'm so happy you were along for the ride. And if you enjoyed today's show, head on over to iTunes to rate and subscribe. So you never miss an episode. New episodes drop every Wednesday. I'll see you next week, but want to leave you with this thought, what will you fail at today and how will that help your future successful self? Think about it. I'm proud of you and you are totally failing it. See you next time.